Saturday, December 31, 2016
Danné Beeslaar, it's your birthday...
A very Happy Birthday to one of my favourites, the great Danné Beeslaar! Have a great and safe New Year's Day as well, and can't wait to see you back at school! Mazel tov, etc.
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Tarien Riekert's comma conniption...
The significant importance of a well-placed comma, thanks to Tarien Riekert:
"No pressure?"
"No, pressure!"
"No pressure?"
"No, pressure!"
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Too much fibre? Check...
 |
| Because nothing says "Christmas" better than a fibre internet ad about dodgy Indian food and runny tummies... |
Friday, October 14, 2016
Faces and hands of Grade 8J/R [2016], check. Scanner, check. Creepy dead effect, very check!
 |
| Thanks to 8J/R for making the above gallery of disturbing imagery possible! [Oh, and my own brilliant technical and artistic expertise also helped...] |
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Friday, October 7, 2016
The Comma? Like, it matters, still.
Nicely thought-provoking piece on the contentious relevance of the humble comma, like it's still a thing:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/do-commas-still-matter/2016/10/04/afed2c72-8a74-11e6-bff0-d53f592f176e_story.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=nextdraft&utm_term=.61d645f48120
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/do-commas-still-matter/2016/10/04/afed2c72-8a74-11e6-bff0-d53f592f176e_story.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=nextdraft&utm_term=.61d645f48120
Bottled water? What a damp scam!
Hey everyone!
Feel like spending 10-15min. with a long-read article on the new-age schmeer that is bottled water?
Of course you do!
You will totally be engrossed by The Guardian's take on this...
Feel like spending 10-15min. with a long-read article on the new-age schmeer that is bottled water?
Of course you do!
You will totally be engrossed by The Guardian's take on this...
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
All about the Apostrophe! [No, it's not a "floating comma"...]
THE APOSTROPHE -- rules, regulations and guidelines...
1 Singular nouns always get an ['s]:
1.1 the dog's paw
1.2 a zombie's moan
1.3 Mr Jones's house
2 Plural nouns get an ['s], if the word does not end on -S:
2.1 oxen's hooves
2.2 geese's wings
3 If the plural noun ended on S, the word only receives an [']:
3.1 the dogs' paws
3.2 the gremlins' huts
3.3 the Joneses' house
4 Religious figures always receive only an [']:
4.1 Jesus' cross
4.2 Moses' laws
[c] Hein Mönnig 2016
Finite verbs? Well, it's about time! [And subject...]
FINITE VERBS have 2 features:
- They have a SUBJECT (someone or something performing the action)
- They have a TENSE (time; a present, past or future tense
Examples:
She sings a song.
He wrote a poem.
It was quiet.
All will be OK.
So ask: WHO/WHAT does it? And WHEN?
[I.e., is there a subject? And a tense?]
[c] Hein Mönnig 2016
Monday, October 3, 2016
Spot the wonderful malapropism!
Oh, and I read the article.
She does not sell anything, but only pedals.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Hing vs. Reinke -- fight!
Hing and Nica, having slightly differing aesthetic interpretations of data presentation:
 |
| Yes, Hing's is the green frame of vertical numbers on the left; Reinke's tight and subtle graphic is slightly on the right. Okay, then. |
Monday, August 29, 2016
Presenting the ad-hoc works of one Elisabeth (Sabah) Cabano
 |
| An enhanced napkin... |
 |
| Rolled-out disposable coffee-cup, repurposed... |
So Elisabeth, recovering from a dodgy knee, has been stuck in my classroom. And apart from some long-distance Math and English work done by her, also, herewith, some impromptu art.
[For orders to use the above in screen-printing for sarongs, doilies, tank-tops, etc., please contact Elisabeth directly.]
Needless to say, Ms Cabano retains all copyright on the above images.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Monday, July 18, 2016
True, they are makeing themselfs look dum
An actual answer - verbatim - I got in the June 2016 Grade 10 Eng. FAL Language paper:
"5.3.1 True, they are makeing themselfs look dum"
We have not the words.
"5.3.1 True, they are makeing themselfs look dum"
We have not the words.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
The sites and blogs I read...
What informs my thinking, you may ask? Well, here are some of the websites and blogs I visit daily...
- Google News [good aggregator of local and international news]
- vox.com -- a witty, liberal site which analyses news to good effect
- news24 - for SA news
- IOL [Cape Times, etc.]
- The Register - a hugely witty and informative British tech and IT news site
- Gizmodo, for gadget and tech news [just avoid the clickbait links!]
- Lifehacker, for daily tips on how to manage your life more effectively [does not always work!]
- GSMarena, for the latest in phone and Android news
- The Guardian, for world news [well-written, eye-pleasing layout]
- The BBC [world news by Auntie Beeb]
- Sky TV News [obviously]
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Friday, June 3, 2016
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Saturday, May 28, 2016
WordPerfect viewer/editor on Android?
WordPerfect viewer/editor on Android? For long-time WordPerfect users, it has been virtually impossible to read or write WPD files on an Android device. The only official option, thus far, has been the official and commercial Corel WPD viewer, but the user reviews have been mixed, to say the least.
This problem has prompted me to research and experiment, based on the fact that a free Windows MS Office-compatible suite like Libre Office [or Open Office, or Apache Office] has, for some time, had the ability to open WordPerfect files seamlessly [and save them, sometimes]. I formatted and saved a few basic WPD files, simply renamed the file extension to .ODT, and opened them in Libre Office – virtually perfectly [only experiencing importing issues with some complex tables]. Apart from that, formatting features like different fonts, graphics boxes, numbered outlining? No problem.
Then I proceeded to Android: I copied these test WPD files [simply renamed as ODT files, not exported as Open Office files, remember] to my device/cloud storage services like Dropbox and Google Drive. I installed a number of Open Office/ODT compatible office apps, and tried to open the "new" ODT files.
The best result so far [only been testing for the last 2 days] has come from OOReader [free via the Google Play store]. Opening a disguised WPD file as an ODT file takes a few seconds to convert, and – success! Almost every file I've tossed at OOReader has imported successfully, with WP formatting and graphics intact.
Interestingly, the official Libre Office viewer app [also the beta one] chokes on these FrankenFiles, as well as most other allegedly ODT-compatible office viewers and editors.
And so my 48-hour conclusion and advice are this: If you're a die-hard WPD user and would like to access your files on an Android device, follow these kludgy and hack-ey steps: (1) upload your WPD file AS IS to your device or the cloud; (2) install OOReader on your device; (3) when you need to do so, simply rename the WPD file to an ODT extension, and import into OOReader.
Savvy users might even write a batch script or CMD file beforehand which automatically renames or mirrors important WPD files as ODT files in one's PC Dropbox folder, which will save precious seconds when accessing that beautiful WPD data...
When (if) I find an app which can then also correctly and perfectly edit and save these hacked WPD-as-ODT files, a follow-up report will, well, follow.
Date: 28 May 2016
==============
PS: This week [late May 2016] I received an amusing response from someone who was baffled by WordPerfect's continued existence and use. Apparently, there's a new-fangled Office suite made by some outfit called "Microsoft", which has allegedly developed some traction in the word processing universe. And this respondent's advice was to convert all existing WordPerfect files into Word .doc/.docx format, so as to fit into the current hegemony.
Firstly: WHAT?
Secondly, and somewhat more realistically and less tongue-in-cheek: A few of us die-hards love WordPerfect because, well, "Reveal Codes". [And if you need to ask, don't read on...]
Having become a WP user since the late 80's, and with a stash of thousands of WPD docs, one is reluctant to engage in large-scale batch reformatting and conversion ops, merely to fit in with the MS Word crowd. As an interim and pragmatic measure and recognition of Android "realpolitik", maybe my suggestion to just rename WPD files to ODT is then not entirely beyond comprehension?
This problem has prompted me to research and experiment, based on the fact that a free Windows MS Office-compatible suite like Libre Office [or Open Office, or Apache Office] has, for some time, had the ability to open WordPerfect files seamlessly [and save them, sometimes]. I formatted and saved a few basic WPD files, simply renamed the file extension to .ODT, and opened them in Libre Office – virtually perfectly [only experiencing importing issues with some complex tables]. Apart from that, formatting features like different fonts, graphics boxes, numbered outlining? No problem.
Then I proceeded to Android: I copied these test WPD files [simply renamed as ODT files, not exported as Open Office files, remember] to my device/cloud storage services like Dropbox and Google Drive. I installed a number of Open Office/ODT compatible office apps, and tried to open the "new" ODT files.
The best result so far [only been testing for the last 2 days] has come from OOReader [free via the Google Play store]. Opening a disguised WPD file as an ODT file takes a few seconds to convert, and – success! Almost every file I've tossed at OOReader has imported successfully, with WP formatting and graphics intact.
Interestingly, the official Libre Office viewer app [also the beta one] chokes on these FrankenFiles, as well as most other allegedly ODT-compatible office viewers and editors.
And so my 48-hour conclusion and advice are this: If you're a die-hard WPD user and would like to access your files on an Android device, follow these kludgy and hack-ey steps: (1) upload your WPD file AS IS to your device or the cloud; (2) install OOReader on your device; (3) when you need to do so, simply rename the WPD file to an ODT extension, and import into OOReader.
Savvy users might even write a batch script or CMD file beforehand which automatically renames or mirrors important WPD files as ODT files in one's PC Dropbox folder, which will save precious seconds when accessing that beautiful WPD data...
When (if) I find an app which can then also correctly and perfectly edit and save these hacked WPD-as-ODT files, a follow-up report will, well, follow.
Date: 28 May 2016
==============
PS: This week [late May 2016] I received an amusing response from someone who was baffled by WordPerfect's continued existence and use. Apparently, there's a new-fangled Office suite made by some outfit called "Microsoft", which has allegedly developed some traction in the word processing universe. And this respondent's advice was to convert all existing WordPerfect files into Word .doc/.docx format, so as to fit into the current hegemony.
Firstly: WHAT?
Secondly, and somewhat more realistically and less tongue-in-cheek: A few of us die-hards love WordPerfect because, well, "Reveal Codes". [And if you need to ask, don't read on...]
Having become a WP user since the late 80's, and with a stash of thousands of WPD docs, one is reluctant to engage in large-scale batch reformatting and conversion ops, merely to fit in with the MS Word crowd. As an interim and pragmatic measure and recognition of Android "realpolitik", maybe my suggestion to just rename WPD files to ODT is then not entirely beyond comprehension?
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
The Soft Voice of the Serpent – comment on the title
The Soft Voice of the Serpent – comment on the title...
© H Mönnig 2016
Quick recap of the reference to the Biblical story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden: the Devil, disguised as a snake, seduced and intrigued Eve with the offer of the apple from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Eve, thinking that Adam would be pleased, offered him the apple, whereupon they both realised their nakedness, developed shame, and were expelled from the Garden by God – because they had corrupted their essential innocence and naivete. They had traded their heavenly bliss for earthly knowledge, a gross and uneven trade.
It can be argued that the modern couple's "innocent" encounter with a harmless locust mirrors the above Biblical tale of the loss of innocence. The husband [unable to face his own helplessness and emasculation], is superficially amused and intrigued by the locust who shares his own disability. His temporary excitement and amusement please his wife, who, until now, has quietly borne the burden of tending to him like a nurse [unpaid and with no benefits...].
The wife, naively [like Eve], does not realise that locusts might fly away if poked [or that gifted apples might be suspicious, like Eve and the devilish serpent]. She "goes too far" [like Eve], and her angry husband, like a petulant and spoilt child, explodes in a fit of fury – they both lose their innocence [like Adam/Eve] and this exposure of the unstated and suppressed tension between them mirrors the loss of innocence and bliss in the Garden of Eden.
Because the couple had bonded over their childish and slightly mean-spirited jokes about the crippled locust, they are now "punished" by having their true natures exposed. The husband is shown to be a mean-spirited man, unable to accept his limitations. The wife is shown to be, at best, passively naive, and, at worst, to be a quiet manipulator of her helpless husband [she really enjoyed the comical similarity between her crippled husband, and the unbalanced locust, just a little too much...].
The corruption of their relationship is shown by the uneven tensions in their dealing with each other's needs [the man feels like a hollow shell of his former self; the wife feels like a widow whose original husband is not more]. This conflict is depicted in a small, mundane event [humans are amused by a small insect] – like Eve took a humble apple to Adam. The serpent [the Devil, the eternal corruptor] has a quiet and persuasive hiss – he is only a catalyst [starter] of eventual corruption from seeds that were already in place. In the same manner, the superficially stable life of the young husband and wife in this story [educated, well-spoken, with money, an undeserved tragedy] only needs a little nudge [when the locust is "accidentally" prodded to fly away] – for their doomed relationship to be made clear.
The serpent's success in corrupting humankind's first couple in the Garden of Eden led to humanity's loss of innocence. Thus, when the locust flies away [caused by the woman: sexist subtext – women cannot be trusted], the crippled man is made all too aware of his permanent shortcomings. He will never by able to "fly away", with hope of an alternative life elsewhere. He will always be only part of man, and at the mercy of a slender-armed woman who, literally and figuratively, pushes him around. Thus, like an angry child, he cannot speak of his angers and fears, but snaps at those who cannot defend themselves [thus giving the woman more reason to resent him; a vicious cycle].
And so an idyllic garden is corrupted by human weakness and insecurity: an eternal tale of cynical knowledge and loss. And the serpent's response? "Missssssssssssion complete!" ▣
© H Mönnig 2016
Quick recap of the reference to the Biblical story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden: the Devil, disguised as a snake, seduced and intrigued Eve with the offer of the apple from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Eve, thinking that Adam would be pleased, offered him the apple, whereupon they both realised their nakedness, developed shame, and were expelled from the Garden by God – because they had corrupted their essential innocence and naivete. They had traded their heavenly bliss for earthly knowledge, a gross and uneven trade.
It can be argued that the modern couple's "innocent" encounter with a harmless locust mirrors the above Biblical tale of the loss of innocence. The husband [unable to face his own helplessness and emasculation], is superficially amused and intrigued by the locust who shares his own disability. His temporary excitement and amusement please his wife, who, until now, has quietly borne the burden of tending to him like a nurse [unpaid and with no benefits...].
The wife, naively [like Eve], does not realise that locusts might fly away if poked [or that gifted apples might be suspicious, like Eve and the devilish serpent]. She "goes too far" [like Eve], and her angry husband, like a petulant and spoilt child, explodes in a fit of fury – they both lose their innocence [like Adam/Eve] and this exposure of the unstated and suppressed tension between them mirrors the loss of innocence and bliss in the Garden of Eden.
Because the couple had bonded over their childish and slightly mean-spirited jokes about the crippled locust, they are now "punished" by having their true natures exposed. The husband is shown to be a mean-spirited man, unable to accept his limitations. The wife is shown to be, at best, passively naive, and, at worst, to be a quiet manipulator of her helpless husband [she really enjoyed the comical similarity between her crippled husband, and the unbalanced locust, just a little too much...].
The corruption of their relationship is shown by the uneven tensions in their dealing with each other's needs [the man feels like a hollow shell of his former self; the wife feels like a widow whose original husband is not more]. This conflict is depicted in a small, mundane event [humans are amused by a small insect] – like Eve took a humble apple to Adam. The serpent [the Devil, the eternal corruptor] has a quiet and persuasive hiss – he is only a catalyst [starter] of eventual corruption from seeds that were already in place. In the same manner, the superficially stable life of the young husband and wife in this story [educated, well-spoken, with money, an undeserved tragedy] only needs a little nudge [when the locust is "accidentally" prodded to fly away] – for their doomed relationship to be made clear.
The serpent's success in corrupting humankind's first couple in the Garden of Eden led to humanity's loss of innocence. Thus, when the locust flies away [caused by the woman: sexist subtext – women cannot be trusted], the crippled man is made all too aware of his permanent shortcomings. He will never by able to "fly away", with hope of an alternative life elsewhere. He will always be only part of man, and at the mercy of a slender-armed woman who, literally and figuratively, pushes him around. Thus, like an angry child, he cannot speak of his angers and fears, but snaps at those who cannot defend themselves [thus giving the woman more reason to resent him; a vicious cycle].
And so an idyllic garden is corrupted by human weakness and insecurity: an eternal tale of cynical knowledge and loss. And the serpent's response? "Missssssssssssion complete!" ▣
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Pun
"Did you miss me?"
"Yes. But then I reversed the car and tried again."
(c) Hein Mönnig 2016 [thanks to Alison Oosthuizen for the inspiration...]
Friday, March 4, 2016
Monday, February 29, 2016
And the word goes to...
So, "alright"? No, it's all wrong!
Please be all right with it.
=====================
awfull? beautifull? Nope. Only if you're FULL.
Otherwise, lose one -L
=====================
practiSE or practiCE? licenCE or licenSE?
If you use it as a NOUN, end with -ce.
If a VERB, end with -se – like, I licenSE you to drive a truck.
I have a comedian's licenCE...
Please be all right with it.
=====================
awfull? beautifull? Nope. Only if you're FULL.
Otherwise, lose one -L
=====================
practiSE or practiCE? licenCE or licenSE?
If you use it as a NOUN, end with -ce.
If a VERB, end with -se – like, I licenSE you to drive a truck.
I have a comedian's licenCE...
Monday, February 22, 2016
ENGLISH FAL: GRADE 8/9 TERM 1/2016 TESTS
ENGLISH FAL: GRADE 8/9 TERM 1/2016 TESTS
LANGUAGE-ONLY [40 MARKS]
1 Comprehension [15 marks]
2 Language [25], covering:
2.1 Parts of speech
2.2 Verbs [finite]
2.3 Correct the tense errors
2.4 Punctuation
2.5 Homonyms/homophones [correct form of words in brackets...]
2.6 Synonyms/antonyms
LANGUAGE-ONLY [40 MARKS]
1 Comprehension [15 marks]
2 Language [25], covering:
2.1 Parts of speech
2.2 Verbs [finite]
2.3 Correct the tense errors
2.4 Punctuation
2.5 Homonyms/homophones [correct form of words in brackets...]
2.6 Synonyms/antonyms
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
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